Question: I’m a 39-year-old single woman. In my 20s, I delayed marriage because I wanted to get financially stable and support myself. That time I didn’t even have an interest in men. However, due to family pressure, I started looking for a husband at the age of 25. I tried several ways—meeting people through personal contacts, matrimonial columns, the internet, etc.
I even ended up paying money to marriage bureaus, but I was rejected for some or the other reason. I was also open to an inter-caste marriage but didn’t find any luck there, either. Now, I’m 39 years old and I’m afraid that if I don’t find a husband soon, I will not be able to have any children. I do not wish to adopt and would prefer having my own children. Please advice. – By Anonymous
Answer by Dr Thyagarajan:
Yes, I understand that you are going through a difficult situation. It is great to see that you’ve chosen to seek professional help. When you face certain situations like this, it sure can be difficult to come to a conclusion as to what can be done; and at that moment you need to try and understand the pros and cons of all the options that are ahead of you and choose the option that is more desirable.
Since this is a major life decision that you’re planning to take, you need to be a little more careful while having a look at the options you have for yourself. Believing yourself and having confidence in what you choose is always the key. Every option comes with its own advantages and disadvantages, and it is necessary to ask yourself if you are okay with having to deal with the disadvantages of that particular option as well.
Since it is a life changing decision that you’d be taking, it is important for you to know that it would be difficult to go back on your decisions. I’m sure you’d measure out what is important and make the best choice.
– Sharanya Thyagarajan is Counselling Psychologist at Fortis Hospitals, Bannerghatta Road, Bangalore.
With 56 hospitals across the nation and over 10,000 beds, Fortis Healthcare Limited is a leading integrated healthcare delivery service provider in India. For over 26 years, Fortis Hospitals have been committed to the cause of getting people back to their lives faster and stronger.